On this first day of June 2021, we mark a full decade of your passing, Papa. You were taken away from us too soon, too young, and too vibrant. You were an outlier in a world where political correctness, selfishness, partisanship and self-interests are rampant for expedience. In a polarized world you taught us to look at difference as an opportunity for growth, a way to bridge gulfs and learn something new.
You chose to work smart and focused so you could get home after a full day’s work and spend the evening and night with family and friends. Because the only work dinners you agreed to attend were those where family could come along, you showed many a boss a new way of spending evenings and turned them into family men and women. That you still made your tenure at each posting the most lucrative one for the IRS was not surprising to any who knew you. You spoke out against red tape and interference with your work by bosses and politicians, always doing your job as best possible for the betterment of your jurisdiction and the nation. That was the daring man you were, and that was how you defined your work life - always professional but never intruding into the personal.
You couldn’t wait for your 60th birthday. No offers from private or public sector seemed lucrative enough to you. Money couldn’t grab your attention when you were ready to immerse yourself in enjoying a new chapter of life and thereby more and fuller interactions with family, friends and strangers. You cultivated meaningful friendships with people who were not chasing your “gaddi” (seat of power) but enjoyed your friendship. Your prayer meeting brought hundreds out long after you retired. People from near and far came to pay homage to a man who spoke a forgotten language and with a firm, kind, caring and nurturing voice, taught honesty, integrity, inclusion, and decency to others. Your own honesty and decades of doing the right thing made fans and supplicants of all the lives you touched.
As a teetotaler and vegetarian you were a poster child for the best patient any doctor could have wanted, and yet you still left us all too soon. You waged the bravest fight anyone could have fantastically imagined, but sometimes DNA is just what gets us. How you managed to travel to places near and far in between your three weekly dialysis sessions was a remarkable feat of mind over matter, indefatigable stamina, desire to indulge family and friends, and your sheer willpower and diehard spirit. You never pitied self, you always found energy to do more, and you opened door and table to one and all.
Discipline was your second nature. Never too late to bed. Always early to rise. Your daily ablutions didn’t just end with rituals of cleaning, but included a short and sweet Pooja, a reflection, a remembrance, a prayer and the continuation of a tradition from Bade Papaji. You taught us kids the intersection of spirituality with everyday life, with modern living and its marriage to family lore and legend. You taught us to be daring and strong, to be bold and honest, to be unafraid to seek the truth, and to speak up for those marginalized and systemically abused. This is a rigor lost in a world where comfort and laziness make our collective numb to issues that ought to rile us with empathy for our fellow man.
Hospitality and entertainment were your hallmark. With a soulful smile, naughty eyes, clever humor, and an open table with delicious foods, you didn’t just draw people in. You also made them find comfort around you and got them to that place of uninhibited welcome where they become more themselves and found their voice, hopes and dreams. Through your own story and journey, you would enliven a consciousness inside those you touched to think beyond themselves and beyond the comfort of self-serving cocoons of mindlessness that we all build. You challenged everyone to grow and gave unfettered support and every other tool available to you to help people walk that journey and stay on it with focus. No one left wanting for food or inspiration, hope or comfort. Not a surprise then that the month of May has brought message after message of family and friends from across the globe, remembering that June 1st would be ten years to the day of your passing for your heavenly abode. Everyone still misses the lively banter, the comforting elder, the provocateur, the perennially willing guide and the living and breathing example of tough love that one hopes for from those entrusted with the shepherding of others.
Papa, you left us too soon, but your legacy and legend will outlast all of us and those that come after. I thank my stars with every breath I take that I was born to Mom and you. You taught us how to be women and men with thinking minds and ticking brains when all around us people are rendered numb by popular opinions or the maiming constructs of religion, class and social construct. Yours was humor that was laced with lessons on the oneness of humanity and our being part of a global collective. Your life was short, your ideals lofty and grand. Thanks for teaching us to not just walk the walk alongside you, but also for equipping us to continue on that path with your courage, passion and commitment.
Thinking of you today with a heavy and proud heart, with a grateful mind, and with deep respect for who you were and what you did through the arc of your life. Where others would think small, you rose high and swiftly. Where others chose material and ease, you chose sweat and perseverance. Thank you, Papa, for being a man of rare empathy and humanity, of selfless energy and an undying spirit.
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